OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
