Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
im six kinds of drunk right now
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
