thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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