Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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