Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize