Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
