May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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