at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
