I wish I could teleport
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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