You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
