Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
