I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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