Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
