please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I can text with my tongue
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
