I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
