the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
