I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
