We won't sleep together?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
