So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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