You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
