I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
