She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
