Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Less talking, more tequila
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize