Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
