i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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