I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
