i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
