Its about making memories worth repressing
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
