Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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