Betty ford says i'm here all night
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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