My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
