You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
