Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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