He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
