I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
