All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
