Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize