Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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