I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
