I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
