census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
