There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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