its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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