i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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