this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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