My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
