And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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