i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
