SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
