I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
