well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I will be naked everywhere
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
