im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
BRING THE BAGELS
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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