yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You work out of a Hotel?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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