I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
