he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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