Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
