seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
