question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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