I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
