I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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