sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
