To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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