she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
