I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
