We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
