How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
time to smoke my breakfast
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize