Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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