That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
