I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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