i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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